Slow & Steady Does It

I’m not embarrassed to say I’ve been in outpatient rehab for the past two months. That means I haven’t touched a drop of liquor in the past two months. Being bone dry feels…weird. I’m not used to it. I drank when I wrote short stories. I drank when I watched TV. I drank when I surfed the internet looking for news tidbits. I drank when I watched movies on my computer. I just drank to pass the night away and to eventually help me sleep. Now that I don’t drink I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. I sleep a lot. I feel listless and pretty much don’t do anything all day. Without AA/NA meetings and outpatient rehab I’d pretty much just stay home and probably be sleeping. I’m taking medication for my depression but I don’t know if it’s helping. I don’t get up in the mornings because I simply don’t have anything to do. I’ll be moving soon so I may as well enjoy these last few days of extended sleeping. That’ll soon come to an end as I spend all my time moving into someplace new and setting up house all over again. I’m not really worried about going back to drugging again. In fact, I rarely think about it. I don’t have those impulses. Drinking has the potential to get me out there again, though. That’s where the danger lies. It’s best that I absorb as much from outpatient rehab as I can as well as learn to work the 12 steps. They say it might save me life in the long run. They’re probably right.

Advertisements