I was in a weird, crazy mood yesterday. I walked around the city for miles talking loudly to myself. I think I did it for attention or to gauge people’s expressions. It was actually kind of fun. People stepped out of the way to avoid me or looked at me like I was, well, crazy. Maybe I am losing it. A few days ago I was offered black tar heroin in a homeless camp in Chinatown. I didn’t take it but at least I know it’s there. As a heroin OD is sure to result in death, I’ve been considering it lately. I guess I’m relieve that I’ve found a good way to go. I’ve been trying my best to stay afloat despite this crippling depression that weighs like a ton of bricks on my head. I’ve borrowed some foreign films from the libraries. They’ve been pretty good so far. No disappointments in the bunch. I really do need to get myself under control but I just don’t know how.