Walking Around Talking To Myself

I was in a weird, crazy mood yesterday. I walked around the city for miles talking loudly to myself. I think I did it for attention or to gauge people’s expressions. It was actually kind of fun. People stepped out of the way to avoid me or looked at me like I was, well, crazy. Maybe I am losing it. A few days ago I was offered black tar heroin in a homeless camp in Chinatown. I didn’t take it but at least I know it’s there. As a heroin OD is sure to result in death, I’ve been considering it lately. I guess I’m relieve that I’ve found a good way to go. I’ve been trying my best to stay afloat despite this crippling depression that weighs like a ton of bricks on my head. I’ve borrowed some foreign films from the libraries. They’ve been pretty good so far. No disappointments in the bunch. I really do need to get myself under control but I just don’t know how.

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One thought on “Walking Around Talking To Myself

  1. Dear Robin…i understand how you feel, more so than say i understand the pain you are going through because i dont because everyone suffering is different but i stumbled upon this blog when looking for blogs about anxiety, depression and writings on the subjects. It sounds impossible for me to say this (as someone who has had a new found and scary awakening to a dormant sucicidal depression in myself) but do not look for a way out. We will all die some day, let nature or lack there of take its course. Try to be positive for now…i cant preach being happy for now because im sure im not currently happy but a life of trying might be better than a life of drawn out dying. im currently trying to get myself under cntrol..its a bitch for sure. Just my bit.

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