I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I don’t even know why it was invented, presumably just to torture Aspies. I just hate “not knowing” and being in limbo about something. It drives me crazy and forces my brain to think of a way out, any way out. Where I temporarily live they won’t tell me how much time I have left there. It could be 6 months, it could be tomorrow. The uncertainty is bringing me to the point where I just wanna go, “Fuck it. I’m moving back to my car tonight.” Man, this black and white business sure can bog me down, and I know it, yet the grayness of uncertainty tortures me to death, ruins my sleep, upsets my day and sucks the happiness out of me. No wonder I’ve been looking at a lot of extremely violent Asian & German horror films lately. They just fit my mood.